Life Encapsulated

How do you deal with the anger of not being able to move forward with your life?

You can't live life and not be touched by it.Stagnant it can get.Sometimes you just want to vent and have someone listen, not necessarily try to "fix" things.Yes i know some things are just not fixable but need to just vent!We also forget to thank those friends on whom we can vent to that don't judge and can often find ways to make us laugh about whatever I was venting about.Life -It is a very hard.I don't think we are given much choice really.Isn't it?Its been the hardest thing we all ever have to deal with.I think we all tend to get angry with ourselves for not being able to do more than we are. We always think that we can do better.And it becomes harder & very hard, to be the sole caregiver with no respite.Its harder when you cant share it with anyone. It's harder when those who could help are the ones who dont us and then criticize what you do manage to get done.The irony of all of this is that I feel abandoned, and the one person who has never abandoned me is the one I leave out. Sometimes, I just feel like I have nothing left to give. I’m tired.Sometimes we all do have to walk away and gather our composure and then come back to it a few minutes later.We do feel sometimes that we are missing out on life.There were times i have wanted to pack just get in the car and drive away far.... far away.Because at times, i am so helpless.That's not to say that I don't love my loved ones.Guilt sometimes is the main reason we don't take a break because we feel for the person we care for and they are unable to escape it.Everyone has to take a break and step back, relax and recharge.I am overwhelmed at times by the reality of the condition.I wish I had a answer for this, I care for my loved ones.I know it's so tough and money issues has to make it all the worst when we worry about a lot already and have to care for our own needs also, it's more frustration then anger.I'm sure,we watch things go by and see our life stop and feel it's so unfair but bless us for what we provide for our loved ones.

But other than bearing no choice.Life touches us in moments of pain and moments of joy; in moments of serenity and in moments of panic. We know we are alive when our hearts fill with emotion regardless of the form that emotion takes. To live is to love. And to love is to connect with the most powerful force we can possibly imagine.Life is different than what you imagined it to be.We can’t work it away, or ignore it, or pretend as if it wasn’t there.We have to walk through every painful step.And so we do.Even though we so often wanted to stop the incredible ache in our heart, we have to keep walking.And this situation makes us stronger but at the same time it sure knocks us down too.When I find myself saying "I want my life back," I tell myself, "this is my life, and as much as I would like for it to be different, and as it was; if I were given the choice of caring for my parents or not, I would choose exactly the path I have chosen."Sometimes there is never enough money. I do have a hard time sometimes dealing with the stagnation of my life. It's been tough but it made me strong!I think the whole "acceptance" of that fact is the hardest part. I'm just so exhausted.Choices, I know what I do is my choice... I could of walked off n lived my life but I choose to care....I try to satisfy my mind by saying that sometimes we reevaluate our priorities. And try to think outside the box for options. Life goes on even if its at a snail's pace.The bottom line is? It is not the fault of those we take care of...nor is it the fault of what we think is expected of us...we make the choice...Acceptance is a letting-go process. You let go of your wishes and demands that life can be different. It's a conscious choice.If made with unconditional love..except it..and find the blessings...contrary to popular belief...they do exist.Despite all these never issues a voice inside my brain keeps telling me - Hang in there sweetie!That is one of the reasons I write. It’s now therapeutic for me.It takes courage to keep living grow up and become who you really are.Sometimes, you just have to let go.