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Friendship falling into Infinity.



“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through' narrow chinks of his cavern.” 

If I got 15 rupee for every time in India I’d be rich.I would prefer to invest in people this money to have loving friend around me.I wouldn't trade it for the world.I would proudly announce that I'm rich with friends.Of course it isn't always easy to maintain,but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort.As the years pass, some people will stay by our side, but many won't, and we realize that each friendship we keep is priceless.But sustaining good relationship with close-knit of friends can be challenging at the best of times.Especially when things take on a negative edge, competitiveness ,separate grouping and side-lining within a group can take root, causing some members of the group to feel left out or even victimized.Like most gifts in life, these relationships are double-edged, the hardest and saddest side becoming more apparent when the friendship comes to an end, and at least one party is truly bereft on two counts. A true friend is someone who is there for you through thick and thin - they'll laugh with you, they'll cry with you.Not make fun of you in your time of distress.It hurts when you don't know the reason behind the separation. Some friends come and go out of your life quickly, but then there are the friends who you’ve known since you were in middle school. It might seem insane to question a friendship that has lasted so long, but with all the changes you’ve been through since that time it’s important to remember that you’re not the person you were in middle school and neither is your friend. Sometimes you grow apart from your best friend and there really isn’t a good reason as to why.Sometimes the reason might be completely one-sided too, which makes you feel even worse.They drifted away from you and they still feel like nothing’s changed.You wonder if you’re a cold hearted jerk for people throwing away years of friendship with you.The real question is: did your friendship change with you?There comes a time in long-term friendship when you may ask yourself this question. Everyone has values and respect that are more important to them than others. But when you think about the values that matter to you the most, does your friend support them or mock them?And it's disturbingly hurtful when you get mocked and laughed at by your best friend at the time of comfort you need.Sometimes it's is so hard to convince a friend.The kind of friendship with whom we are stuck are so much involved in his/her comfort zone. "I'm ok not really being on social networking but I have a small fan group on Facebook and whats-app.I just play some games and do chat.Please visit that page and like it.I'm busy with life.I'm extremely happy with them that I don't get time to reply you". You get a reply back in two months to the message we send. So why does the good friend suddenly act like strangers? Our values make us who we are, and not everyone has to agree with them.
As nice as it is to have friends,in all age groups, and lots of them,the older you get, the more likely the number of them will decrease substantially.Especially childhood pals.Which is quite painful.As one of my conscience points out, the older we get, the less willing we are to hold onto so-called friendships that breed drama or offer us nothing. But a lot of the time, we still go out of our way to salvage messy relationships for a variety of reasons.Many times it did occur to my mind that why they can't act their shoe size.Why can't they realize they have come across that kindergarten stage.Of course Immaturity takes so many forms. It can come in the way we handle small crises, to how we behave when we don’t get our way. A terrible example of immaturity that we as an adult don’t need in our life, is that friend who still lives to be involved in past high school-like exploits.And take up those issues to abuse.I know we all have our selfish moments. Sometimes you gotta look out for self. But some people make being self-absorbed a 24/7 occupation in being online still not a single minute for old friend and those kind of friends can have you in these streets looking like a fool. I believe what sets a good childhood friend apart from other friends is a special caring based on liking that person’s company more than others, a special knowing based on more confidential intimacy than with others.But nowadays conversations that ran into hours have now trickled down to an occasional and curt exchange of pleasantries now.Memories of fun times shared between all have now become the harbingers of long silence ,sighs and byes.Putting phrases like 'you keep in touch' is in itself a painful sad fact.As most don't keep in touch. I have often asked myself ,'What happened to her/him? Why and how did she/he change so much?Why have they stopped talking to me? Did I do something wrong?'Most of the time my mind and the child in me refuses to accept the reality. 'I don't want to lose them...we meant so much to each other...I don't want things to change...Please!' - this goes on and on inside me.But truth is by-far tough to accept.Truth is..people have grown up and grown apart as well.And these are the same friendships that have stood the test of time, they say. . A reason would makes it easier to understand the situation.It would make you feel less guilty. It would make the dissolution less strange and painful.. The catch up phone calls are becoming forced, you’re grasping for words trying to come up with conversation topics

Screw my history with them in it.The present is way more important than any history you have with someone. I sincerely feel that while I have grown up, some of my good childhood friend has remained in the same place since high school. The loss means the relationship no longer functions as a healthy source of friendship.Regardless, it can still leave a sour taste in your mouth as to the direction this friendship is taking to. Whatsoever, I have accepted the fact of life that it is part of every human's journey to grow internally and mature throughout life.Life has taught me to forgive.Life has taught me forgive all and to move forward. If only everyone be positive and don't hold any grudge and let their bitterness and resentment build up in their minds..I have made friends with myself and understood that having meaningful friendships can help you grow as a person.But a small question still keeps on bubbling in my mind like a bubble is do we grow apart or just wake up one day and no longer want to be friends with someone? It seems to me that friendships are becoming more irreverent in today's society.Friendship now has 'shrunk' to six degrees of separation theory. Pushing the arguments about the metrics adopted in the study some might question the definition of friendship, given that connections are often only made online rather than in person.

Everything including relationships is six or fewer steps away.Infinity rules...

Comments

  1. Nicely expressed.And true.I couldn't have written better as i am not good writer.But,really loved what ever you have written.Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks so much for liking my writeup.Good luck to you too.

    ReplyDelete

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