Skip to main content

Friendship falling into Infinity.



“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through' narrow chinks of his cavern.” 

If I got 15 rupee for every time in India I’d be rich.I would prefer to invest in people this money to have loving friend around me.I wouldn't trade it for the world.I would proudly announce that I'm rich with friends.Of course it isn't always easy to maintain,but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort.As the years pass, some people will stay by our side, but many won't, and we realize that each friendship we keep is priceless.But sustaining good relationship with close-knit of friends can be challenging at the best of times.Especially when things take on a negative edge, competitiveness ,separate grouping and side-lining within a group can take root, causing some members of the group to feel left out or even victimized.Like most gifts in life, these relationships are double-edged, the hardest and saddest side becoming more apparent when the friendship comes to an end, and at least one party is truly bereft on two counts. A true friend is someone who is there for you through thick and thin - they'll laugh with you, they'll cry with you.Not make fun of you in your time of distress.It hurts when you don't know the reason behind the separation. Some friends come and go out of your life quickly, but then there are the friends who you’ve known since you were in middle school. It might seem insane to question a friendship that has lasted so long, but with all the changes you’ve been through since that time it’s important to remember that you’re not the person you were in middle school and neither is your friend. Sometimes you grow apart from your best friend and there really isn’t a good reason as to why.Sometimes the reason might be completely one-sided too, which makes you feel even worse.They drifted away from you and they still feel like nothing’s changed.You wonder if you’re a cold hearted jerk for people throwing away years of friendship with you.The real question is: did your friendship change with you?There comes a time in long-term friendship when you may ask yourself this question. Everyone has values and respect that are more important to them than others. But when you think about the values that matter to you the most, does your friend support them or mock them?And it's disturbingly hurtful when you get mocked and laughed at by your best friend at the time of comfort you need.Sometimes it's is so hard to convince a friend.The kind of friendship with whom we are stuck are so much involved in his/her comfort zone. "I'm ok not really being on social networking but I have a small fan group on Facebook and whats-app.I just play some games and do chat.Please visit that page and like it.I'm busy with life.I'm extremely happy with them that I don't get time to reply you". You get a reply back in two months to the message we send. So why does the good friend suddenly act like strangers? Our values make us who we are, and not everyone has to agree with them.
As nice as it is to have friends,in all age groups, and lots of them,the older you get, the more likely the number of them will decrease substantially.Especially childhood pals.Which is quite painful.As one of my conscience points out, the older we get, the less willing we are to hold onto so-called friendships that breed drama or offer us nothing. But a lot of the time, we still go out of our way to salvage messy relationships for a variety of reasons.Many times it did occur to my mind that why they can't act their shoe size.Why can't they realize they have come across that kindergarten stage.Of course Immaturity takes so many forms. It can come in the way we handle small crises, to how we behave when we don’t get our way. A terrible example of immaturity that we as an adult don’t need in our life, is that friend who still lives to be involved in past high school-like exploits.And take up those issues to abuse.I know we all have our selfish moments. Sometimes you gotta look out for self. But some people make being self-absorbed a 24/7 occupation in being online still not a single minute for old friend and those kind of friends can have you in these streets looking like a fool. I believe what sets a good childhood friend apart from other friends is a special caring based on liking that person’s company more than others, a special knowing based on more confidential intimacy than with others.But nowadays conversations that ran into hours have now trickled down to an occasional and curt exchange of pleasantries now.Memories of fun times shared between all have now become the harbingers of long silence ,sighs and byes.Putting phrases like 'you keep in touch' is in itself a painful sad fact.As most don't keep in touch. I have often asked myself ,'What happened to her/him? Why and how did she/he change so much?Why have they stopped talking to me? Did I do something wrong?'Most of the time my mind and the child in me refuses to accept the reality. 'I don't want to lose them...we meant so much to each other...I don't want things to change...Please!' - this goes on and on inside me.But truth is by-far tough to accept.Truth is..people have grown up and grown apart as well.And these are the same friendships that have stood the test of time, they say. . A reason would makes it easier to understand the situation.It would make you feel less guilty. It would make the dissolution less strange and painful.. The catch up phone calls are becoming forced, you’re grasping for words trying to come up with conversation topics

Screw my history with them in it.The present is way more important than any history you have with someone. I sincerely feel that while I have grown up, some of my good childhood friend has remained in the same place since high school. The loss means the relationship no longer functions as a healthy source of friendship.Regardless, it can still leave a sour taste in your mouth as to the direction this friendship is taking to. Whatsoever, I have accepted the fact of life that it is part of every human's journey to grow internally and mature throughout life.Life has taught me to forgive.Life has taught me forgive all and to move forward. If only everyone be positive and don't hold any grudge and let their bitterness and resentment build up in their minds..I have made friends with myself and understood that having meaningful friendships can help you grow as a person.But a small question still keeps on bubbling in my mind like a bubble is do we grow apart or just wake up one day and no longer want to be friends with someone? It seems to me that friendships are becoming more irreverent in today's society.Friendship now has 'shrunk' to six degrees of separation theory. Pushing the arguments about the metrics adopted in the study some might question the definition of friendship, given that connections are often only made online rather than in person.

Everything including relationships is six or fewer steps away.Infinity rules...

Comments

  1. Nicely expressed.And true.I couldn't have written better as i am not good writer.But,really loved what ever you have written.Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks so much for liking my writeup.Good luck to you too.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Street talk!

                                                                         Gray Life on the street  More people in our country lack of homes today.They live under the flyovers,under old broken bridges,inside plumbing pipeline, near railway stations, road dividers, pavements - they are everywhere.Every single day.We all pass them by uncaringly. Daily. Even me included. It is not easy  seeing  someone trying to survive on the  streets  of the city, and our reactions can range from pity, to anger, to choosing not to  see  the person at all. ... what it's like to have no home. Homelessness is about more than just poverty.And on bone chilling winters s ome arere visibly distressed and freezing, barely able to feel their hands...

A nostalgic trip to memory lane.

Just some time ago i got in  touch with many of my old school pals through social networking site Facebook.Thanks to Technology which has brought us all closer.Connecting with long-lost friends is like checking out those class  group photo session.Whether its Facebook , Twitter or any medium of social networking,it helped me to connect with good old high school,my teachers,principal and college friends who I had not  seen or heard from in decades.Its been a topsy turvy life for me all along.But suddenly i was  filled with life meeting them though virtually.Which later on became possible in practical too.Felt those butterflies fluttering in my stomach in excitement of hearing them.Really the moment is so nostalgic & lovely to be able to know & see how gracefully we have all aged and how  wonderful they all are doing!I found myself in the muddle of my long lost friends.It was as if some  sort of telepathic connection that me and some of my old...

Fishing for a forbidden fruit called humanism.

In future we can see kids fishing for humanism. Last week ,on a Tuesday night as usual I sat down to check my mails, about what sort of links people are posting and the news of the day on in social networking sites as Twitter,Facebook ,Word-press & Blogger like where peoples heads are at, what the latest fuzz to follow and figure out.So we all know that word of mouth is the strongest form of marketing, whether or not you can call it marketing or just the way we interact with one another, and we see evidence of this all the time.Okay,well it’s kind of freaky and interesting sometimes.Whatever,I saw a lot of people & even Dalai Lama fussing & tweeting around about Human Values.For so hundred's of years now, Science, Technology, & Human Values has provided the forum for cutting-edge research and debate in this dynamic and important field.We owe much to the thinkers of ancient traditions, the scientific and social reformers from the Renaissance forward, and those of...